Pen
A blog by Ezra Moores – My first birthday
Some things I’ve learnt by my first birthday party and interesting anomalies …
So, as the title might lead you to believe I’m one … a whole year of trying to understand the odd people around me … why aren’t they consistent … one rule for one and one for another … how do they expect me to respond??
Anyway, the persona I’ve decided to adopt is one of a God … someone to be adored and applauded …this works well with most of my family it would seem … either they really adore me or they have a love of ‘clapping’ … who knows!
I’ve already realised that some people will do whatever I want … I simply have to lean or point in a particular direction and they’ll take me there … let me do whatever it is I need to do … most of the time …. I mean Coco (my grandmother who thinks she is too young to be called Granny or Nanny … and insists on the ridiculous name of Coco … if I could roll my eyes in writing I would) …anyway, an aside. I do a clucking noise to represent Coco (which she noticed some time ago), and for fun I also use the same noise for all animals I encounter … OMG it is the funniest!!!! You should see her trying to justify this …
And then … at my first birthday party (an afternoon tea no less) I was playing with a dog and Coco was trying to befriend the owner (she is single you know) … and she said to him (the owner) ‘so, what’s your dog called?’ … this could not be funnier – except that I did not actually make it up … he replied ‘Coco’…. The Dog and my Grandmother … Coco ha ha ha ha – so funny!
Anyway, getting back to what Coco is not particularly happy with – it’s when I want to grab the cat food and eat it … my parents keep Lola’s (or should I say cluck cluck’s) food and water on a very pristine mat in the downstairs toilet … and I’m not generally allowed in there. It is SUCH fun when Coco has me on her own … she needs to go to the toilet, but can’t bear to let me out of her sight (to be fair, sensible decision – there’s no knowing what I’ll get up to!)… so she tries to ‘wee’ with the door open and me in the hall … foolish. I look and smile – I might clap, for fun … but wait till she’s mid-flow and scoot into the toilet … just out of her reach. She can’t decide whether to let me eat Lola’s food (she’ll be in a lot of trouble with my mum – she feels responsible for me), or wee on the floor (she’ll be in a lot of trouble with my dad – who feels responsible for the cleaning) … Coco has a lot of dilemmas!
So, back to the party … afternoon tea in a lovely afternoon tea establishment … me, mum and dad are there early … all seems nice … no idea why our outfits are coordinated – black and white spots (mumma) … black and white stripes (dada) and me in nude (almost white top with dashes) … not something that normally happens … must be for the potential photo opportunities. Coco arrives … and as is usual she has her knee high boots on … they are so good for putting things in …the stuff I put in disappears and I can’t reach the balls / eggs / cars / trains etc and then it still comes out when she tips them upside down – amazing! Consequently I always insist she takes them off for me to play with. Apparently this is ok at home BUT not when we’re out (inconsistent adult responses … thank God I know what’s going on!) …. Anyway … I was pretty insistent so she took them off anyway (ha ha ha ha) … she’s in this afternoon tea place, bootless (and short as a result of this!) … my dad’s family are arriving and she’s sitting there in her socks…. So funny! (This is soooo not the impression she wants to give people, she’d like to be perceived as a tall (this is a stretch), stylish (she looks ok) and a generally together woman, which of course adds to my amusement!). I play for a bit and then lose interest, so she gets to put her boots back on … she is instantly transformed (well, taller), and therefore happier. I make her take me around the room to touch all things that look as they won’t survive me touching them.
I so hope my life carries on in this vein … (adults just don’t seem to have so much fun!)
The end … for now!