Pen Green Centre for children and their families

The lockdown brought significant changes to my busy life, I am able to work from home as is my husband, life is very different to how it was before, I guess that’s the same for everyone. In many ways its better, everyone is home, I get to see my husband every day and so does my son. When he wakes up he now calls for his dad and even though he is busy working it is at home, we get to have meals together which we hadn’t been doing, it is very isolated, we are in our own bubble.

My son is spending a lot of time watching TV because I have to work, when the teenagers are with us they have to do their school work and my husband is working the same long hours that he was before. Apart from the excessive TV consumption and the fact I cannot see extended family it’s been nice. Whilst my husband is always working he’s able to come into the kitchen between calls, he can pop into the garden to play, something he was just not able to do before when he was stuck away from home and not getting back til late at night. I love being able to actually see the other children too, not having to cram this and that into their life between rushing to the next thing.

It took a bit of getting used to and my stepson struggled the most – he lost the most – he could not do his driving test, missed seeing his mates, his job stopped and his holiday was cancelled. He was raging but has settled into it and has a bike so he can spend time on his own. My step daughter seems as though she’s just been getting on with it and has managed it all really well – she’s been a great help with my son once she’s finished her school work!

I think it works well going between the two houses because when it all gets a bit too much here they can go and spend time with their Mum. We have a calendar so we all know where they are and when, it is really important, I think it would have been one change too many to stop.

I really, really miss my mum and dad, I am used to seeing them once a month. When my husband and I got together I knew I would have to move up here from ‘down South’ but since my son was born they always came up at least once a month, sometimes more, he’s got a really good relationships with them and really misses them. My parents came up once to sit in our garden, we had to keep distant though and there were no hugs goodbye. It was raining, we sat under umbrellas and made the most of it, it was better than not seeing them at all.

Working from home has been successful, apart from the odd glitch I have managed to do all I need to, it’s just a struggle keeping my young son entertained when I am doing it. I think this lockdown has had the biggest impact on the little ones, whilst my stepson lost his freedom, he can understand and rationalise it, whereas for the little one his world has just disappeared and he doesn’t quite get that. I have struggled to explain it to him. He knows about the nasty bugs but at 4 he wants to know why we can’t we just kill them like pests. It’s been hard managing his understanding. His reaction is to get grumpy with us as he does not understand. He likes rules and he likes to tell people what the rules are, if you give it to him that it is a rule he understands. We met a friend with a 3 year old for a socially distanced walk, they spent whole walk flattening themselves against bushes, staying away from each other and passers-by.

My son has always gone to my mother in laws on Mondays so he has lost contact with both sets of grandparents, although we can drive over to Granny’s and we drop shopping off he hasn’t been able to spend the time with them that he is used to spending. He is obviously missing the attention he gets from them because when they are with him he gets their undivided attention whereas when we are at home we have to tell him ‘no I am working’. He told my friend that he doesn’t like me working, it’s boring and I want mummy to play when she’s at home, that’s really difficult to manage, trying to explain I have to do my work.

I do really appreciate having everyone here, I like being at home, (I like seeing people and having a party and a chat too) but I am very lucky to have a lovely house and lovely garden. We have a pond with fish to look at every day and the dogs to keep us entertained. I live in a village and can go on lovely local walks, all those sorts of things have been really amplified because they are more important now. Taking the dogs for a walk is no longer a chore, we have been able to just stop and slow down a bit. Every evening when the teenagers are with us we sit down watching films once the little one has gone to bed. Yes, they are distracted by their phones and devices but they are actually in the room with us and we can have a conversation about the film, that’s a real benefit. The pace of life has changed and I would actually be really reluctant to lose it.